I have so many ideas for posts right now, but unfortunately I’ve been a little sick and very lazy. Today, though, I decided that I would just commit and start writing. I’m hoping this will be an effective strategy to break through my writers block. If you see this post published, you’ll know it was.
One of the things I’ve wanted to write about is a question that comes up from time to time as people are learning about the relationship David and I have. Someone asked him this a few weeks ago I guess, and I joked that perhaps we should have some cards printed up with my answer on them to speed things along. David doesn’t go to church, and I do. When people learn this, they tend to ask the same question. ”How does she feel about that?” Well, aren’t you lucky? Because today I’m going to give you an answer. Now, the answer to this is both very simple and a little complex. For the purposes of this blog, though, I’m going to try to keep things concise while still expanding on my feelings a bit.
The simple answer to this question is, I’m not worried about it. There, question answered. Move along, nothing to see here.
I’m kidding, come back.
I know that isn’t what people expect, but it’s the simple truth. It’s never worried me. I don’t think about it all that much. It has never been a problem in our relationship. I know in my heart and believe with every fiber of my being that we are both where we need to be. I believe that he was meant to be in my life, that our love is something that was inevitable, and that our love is meant to be for always. I don’t feel the need to try to change him.
Coming from a Southern Baptist background, being raised in a home with a very conservative father, I can see why people ask this question. I know a lot of people believe that Christians should only date other Christians who have been baptized, belong to a church they attend regularly, pray every day, have read the Bible multiple times cover to cover, ask a blessing for every meal, have it all together, and are very religious. I respect that opinion, and in this post, I’m really not going to try and refute that. If that is what you believe, and you feel called to make those your requirements, that is what you need to do. Please don’t let me sway you.
I have gone to church since before I could talk. I have read the Bible since I was old enough to read. I do not have all the answers, and I do not believe any of us do. I believe if you believe the Bible, you should believe that as well. No human being has all the answers. Something I do believe is that we have been given the ability to know right from wrong and to be able to feel what is good and what is not deep within ourselves. We all have personal convictions, and it is important to listen to those. That presence within me has never urged me to try to change David. To the contrary, it has given me peace and security in the knowledge that he was meant to love me in the way that men are intended to love. It has also given me the tranquil quiet assurance that he will be the leader I need in our relationship. I have never had any doubts. The love we share feels good, clean, and pure. What I feel convicted to do is to be a good partner for him, to accept his love, and to allow him to be what I need in my life.
Some people think that a Christian woman shouldn’t marry a man who isn’t in church because he can’t lead a wife and family in living a godly life. I’m telling you right now that this is not a concern to me at all. We haven’t married yet, that’s true, but I have seen evidence that he is perfectly capable. I was in quite a state when he found me. I don’t care to expand on that, but my life was a mess to be honest. I had been through some very dark things and I’d made some mistakes that I just couldn’t shake the guilt of. I’d held onto my faith, but I felt like I was treading water, scrambling to be something I knew I was meant to be. When David came into my life, he crashed through my walls and saw my pain, my guilt, and the good that was inside me. He accepted it all, and loved me unconditionally.
Little by little he revealed to me what he knew I was capable of and I confided in him the things I struggle with, the things I wanted for my future, the kind of woman I wanted to grow to be. He showed me the way that he lives, his deeply held convictions, and we shared them. He inspires me to be better, he won’t settle for anything less than my best. He shows me the woman I always was, the woman he saw and fell in love with, and he helps me to live in a way that leaves me doubtless about my character. He has brought a new level of honesty into my life. I confide in him when I have guilt or doubts about myself and he puts me at ease. I know that he can love me in the way that I never thought about before he came into my life. He can love me in a way that is Christ-like.
I am a better woman now and a stronger woman than before he came into my life. Now, that isn’t only because of him, I have some wonderful people in my life, and I have worked hard myself to move forward in a way that makes me proud of the person I am becoming each day. But, he has brought only good into my life. The goodness within him leaves me awestruck at times. The gentle love and care that he gives me could move me to tears, and has before. Not only that, but I have never felt as much peace, fulfillment, and faith as I do now. I have never been closer to God. He is a part of that. So, if you worry for me that he isn’t right for me or is not what I need, that he will be a stumbling block to me, please don’t. If you worry for him that he isn’t where he needs to be, I ask that you please try not to. I know in my heart that God sees him as I do. It feels good to feel sure that I am living my destiny, and to see my purpose clearly. (Maybe more about that later.) It feels even better to be blessed to have the man who was made for me, who I was made for, to walk that path with.